I think I forgot, but I can't remember

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense" ~ Emerson

This quote has really had me thinking lately. Especially the part "forget them as soon as you can". For the past couple of years, I have felt that my memory is slipping away from me. The reason? I have some theories, perhaps it's depression, maybe something neurological. But regardless of the cause, the fact is, I'm not nearly as smart as I once was.

There was once a time when I could recall hundreds of phone numbers, useless trivia tidbits, lyrics to songs I'd only heard once, peoples names! Now, most of those thing elude me. BUT, it occurs to me that I don't HAVE to remember all those things anymore, I can just look them up in my iPod or Google it! So perhaps my failing memory isn't from depression or a tumor...maybe it's the result of technology! As a movie buff, I no longer have to recall what movie "what's his name" starred in with "that blonde chick" where they went to that one place...I can just IMDB it! That great recipe for no-bake cookies...it's online too! And if I don't put a date on my Google Calendar, it's as if it doesn't even exist!

However, this doesn't explain the other holes in my memory. I'm pretty sure that high school has been about 80% erased from my mind. That's probably for the best really. I run into people that I know I SHOULD know, but I can't place where I should know them from, much less their names. It's even more frustrating when they say "Don't I know you?" and neither of us can figure out why/where.

And yet, I still remember the day my mother took this photo. I was only 4 at the time. There was a small farm house on the corner of Graybrook Lane and Country Club Drive. Now there's a mom and pop ice cream place, called Mom & Pop's, on that lot. But I remember the horses and the no-longer functioning water pump. I remember mom telling me to sit here and stand there. She was taking a photography class and I was cute and available as a subject.

I remember the smell of the dance school I attended when I was 5, 6, and 7. It smelled like leather and cigarette smoke. I still pick up a new pair of tap shoes and breathe in the smell. I can't help myself. (Notice, I did say NEW...lol) And I remember Karen and Winnie. They were my best friends in dance class. I'm lucky enough to still have one of them as a close and dear friend to this day. There was also a small garden behind the studio with a concrete bench that I loved to sit on and daydream. It's not there anymore either. It's a parking lot for the high school athletic buses.

I suppose it's a good thing I still have some really good memories to savor, but I often wonder, what other wonderful days, places, events, and people I have forgotten. And why is it that I can't forget the ones that I should.

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